Brooke Knows Best (VH1/MTV/Viva)

BKB is a spin-off from Hogan Knows Best, which like every other half-baked, pseudo-celeb reality show, is a spin-off from The Osbournes. HKB folowed wrestler Hulk and his family through their supposedly crazy lives. Except where The Osbournes shouted, swore, had animal shit everywhere and created great tv, The Hogans didn't. You'd generally find more fun-time riots in any suburban street.

But Brooke is now 'independent' and living away from her family (in a penthouse paid for by VH1). Little Brooke is growing up and goshdarnit aren't we lucky to be present as she tackles life, love, her career...just like us? Aww shucks, this is gonna be one hell of a riiiiiide..!

Except it's not. BKB is like your regular meeting with friends for lunch or coffee. It happens so often that it's still nice, but it just becomes standard. The most shocking part of this show is that for all her privilege and luxuries, Brooke seems like a genuinely nice, respectful, well brought up girl. No tantrums, no Hillbilly Heroin come downs on the stairs lolling in her own vomit, no casual violence. Nada. Sure she goes to a pole dancing class, but she brings her Mum. The Hogan's love each other, even wayward son Nick who isn't around because he's in prison (every celeb family has one). But we don't talk about that ssshh.

Hulk fans never fear, the great man makes copious appearances (here played by a mahogany wardrobe with cheap blonde hair precariously placed on top) ready to hand out some sage advice whether Brooke actually needs it or not. The man should be renamed Wisdom King. Or Trooof Daddy.

Watching BKB is like spending time with your own family. If your family aren't blonde and perma-tanned, feel free to check in with Brooke & co. Vague sense of well being guaranteed.

Howya

Howdy!

This is by no means my first attempt at blogging, but hopefully it will be more regular and outlive the others..which have died slow, painful, slightly self-involved deaths.

For various reasons too boring and long-winded to go into, the career and social aspects of my life are sporadic and patchy. I once tried writing a blog about the city I live in, but realised pretty sharpish I don't actually spend enough time *living it* to do it justice.

But what's the one thing that's a constant in my life? What eats up more of my time than anything else (Bejeweled taking the head-hanging 2nd place of shame)? The TV.

I will make questionable, urging noises at anyone who will listen to go and watch The Wire. I get grumpy if I miss an episode of Neighbours. I cry genuine tears at the now far-too-blatant plays for sympathy on The X Factor. I have wanted to crawl inside the television and live inside the world of Mad Men in all its perfect, pristine glory. I have watched 3 episodes of Jeremy Kyle in one day.

I will never be as vitriolically brilliant as Charlie Brooker. I enjoy trash too much. I actively watch My Super Sweet 16, and only for partly masochistic reasons.

I know I'm probably supposed to be angry and edgy....but I just like TV. Sorry...!